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On Being 40

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I turned 40 about a year ago so 2016 has seemed like a good time for self-refection. Here are some of the things on my mind:

1. Ugh: It’s too late.

The fine lines on my face tell me it’s too late to put more sunscreen on during all those summers at the beach. It’s too late to build really strong bones (bone mass growth peaks at age 30). It’s too late to do lots of kegels after having each baby (squeeze ladies, squeeze!). It’s too late to foster a closer relationship with my grandparents, who have passed away, and whose wisdom I would appreciate now as I enter middle age. Ugh.

2. It’s not too late, fool.

Sure, there are some things you can’t undo (or do), but you’re only 40. Get it together, lady.

3. Further to #2: Maybe I should lift some weights.

When 2015 (my 40th year) dawned, I woke up one day and thought rather over-dramatically: Eek, 40. Pretty soon I’ll be a hunched over old person with broken hips. Flab and weakness upset my vanity in my 30s but now my life is in danger! (Also, I always kind of hoped I’d be one of those hot 40-somethings…you know, like JLo.) So that very day I joined Crossfit Immortal and today I actually have some muscles. I even did my first pull-up a few weeks ago! (Though I still have no dance moves.)

3. Woah. I need new clothes

I turned 40 the same year my youngest child was toilet trained, marking my emergence from 10 years of a having-babies haze. When I took a good look at myself in the mirror, I had some questions: Why is my winter coat older than my middle-schooler (with a broken zipper and faded seams to prove it)? Why do I wear ugly old race t-shirts to the gym in the age of Fabletics and Athleta. Why do events like funerals, work meetings, and High Holidays send me into a what-will-I wear panic? I can’t blame my disheveled appearance on my babies anymore.  I have some shopping to do.

4. Things are getting invasive.  

I have been blessed with good health and I’m pretty good about preventive care. I get blood tests as advised. My skin is checked by a dermatologist now and then. I have annual gyno exams. But my annual check-up at 40 came with a few unpleasant prescriptions. My family history means colonoscopies had to begin this year instead of at age 50. I need 3D mammograms from now on. I can’t read the fine print anymore…reading glasses are in the near future (though I can’t focus on that now, hee hee). And that derm check-up: it found a spot of skin cancer on my back! (It has since been removed and I’m fine.) This is not the fun side of the 40s.

5. Real life is now.  

JR and I have always wondered when we would feel grown up. Will we feel like adults when we get married? No, we’re still in our 20s! When we have a kid? Nah, we have no idea what we’re doing! When we have two? When we move out of the city? When we host a Thanksgiving dinner? When?! I figured one day we would leave the figuring-everything-out stage and arrive at “real life” but it never felt like that day was today.

Well, I think we may be there now. We put down roots in a peaceful small town, we own a house and hope to live here for at least as long as we have the 30-year mortgage. We have 3 kids, none of them new, and there are no more to come. My series of jobs has turned into a career. We have a Bar Mitzvah date in the calendar for goodness sake. I look at my oldest nieces and nephews, finding their way through their post-college years, and I do consider them to be grown now, but I can’t pretend to be in the same stage of life. All signs point to me being a real adult. It’s finally happened. 

This realization doesn’t make me feel wistful about youth as I feared it would, though. Having stuff figured out feels rather awesome. And the massive responsibilities that come with this full grown-up life do not feel like a burden. They feel like a gift.

Happy 41st Birthday to me. ūüôā

Pull-Up Despair: A Life Lesson

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For 5 months I’ve been working hard to achieve a goal that I’ve had almost my entire life. I want to do a strict pull-up. I want to hang from a bar and pull myself up over the top of it. Not a lot to ask, right?

So in February, I started a pull-up training program designed by my coach, Tommy Carter at CrossFit Immortal. I printed out the 3-day-a-week plan and teamed up with a friend, AG, who also aspired to pull herself up. We committed to it. We’d stay after class, meet up during Open Gym time on Sundays to work.

I’ve completed the 4-week program about 4 times now. At first, I’d hang from the bar and not really move. When “assisted pullups” were prescribed I needed the springing power of the thickest band or both of my feet pressing hard into a spotter, who basically had to lift me up over the bar. Five months later, I’m using only the lightest band and I can put just the smallest bit of weight on my spotter’s hips as I pull up. The progress is undeniable.

Every time we get together to do the program we start with one unassisted pull-up to check on our progress. Well, on Sunday, AG did it: she hung from the bar and pulled herself right up over the top. As she approached the top I started screaming and clapping like a lunatic. To say I was happy is an understatement. I was thrilled. And then it was my turn. I hung from the bar and pulled myself all the way… to about my forehead. Even if my life had depended on it I could not get over that bar. Oh well, I said, and I continued my work. But when I got home later, I cried. Pride, disappointment, anger, impatience. I want to do a pull-up!! I have been working hard, too! Where’s MY pull-up?

I was still emotional about it the following day, and now my back was feeling sore due to another lingering weakness that I struggle to overcome – my overhead pressing position/mobility/strength situation. I felt sorry for myself about my pull-ups and about my push jerks and now I was feeling ashamed of my mental state, too. I’m a can-doer! I stay positive and work hard. Why am I letting all of this get to me?! I had tears in my eyes as Coach Tommy gave me a pep talk (along with some new overhead positioning stretches).

When I got home I learned that my 11yo, N, had been cut from the travel soccer team. He just hadn’t shown himself to be a strong enough player at the 2-day tryout. His best buddies made the team and he did not. My heart broke as I listened to JR breaking the news and heard the raw emotion in N’s voice.

It’s a life lesson, JR and I told ourselves to ease the pain we felt on his behalf. Sometimes you work hard but it just doesn’t happen for you, we told him. You can try again next year. We’re proud that you always showed up and gave it your best. Keep your chin up. Don’t dwell on past let-downs, just make a new plan for the future.

Um, hello?! I expect and hope that this small person-in-training can pick himself up after a setback, dust off his bruised ego, and step back out into life and try again. Well, I’m a grown woman and I better do the same thing.

So, here’s where I am today: No more stupid pull-up tears. No more feeling sorry for myself. You have to work REALLY hard to achieve some of your goals in life. And the thing is, I want “really hard” to mean 3 times a week for 5 months. But maybe it means 3 times a week for 6 months. Or for 9 months. Or however long it takes. And you know how long it will take if I give up? FOREVER. You know how long it will take if I bitch and moan instead of staying positive? Well, um, it may take the same amount of time but man, that time is going to be unpleasant.

So, I took a 48-hr break from mental fortitude but that’s over now. AG, ever the supportive friend, sent me this motivational text when she checked in to confirm our date for more pull-up work later today:

IMG_8880

It pumped me right up. That’s more like it!  Pull-ups, I’m coming for you.

Afterward

About a month after this post, I hung from a bar and pulled myself right over the top. And then I burst into tears like a little girl. ūüôā

In the weeks since, I have worked my way up to 2 pull-ups at a time.  AG can now do 3! We continue to stay after class and do extra work on Sundays. Next up: kipping pull-ups!  

#wontstopcantstop

Expert, advise thyself

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I enjoy writing about feeding my family here on my blog, but what you may not know is that it’s actually one of my areas of professional expertise. For almost 20 years, my specialty as a dietitian has been the art and science of feeding young kids. For the last 10, I’ve been a¬†nutrition advisor for Happy Family, and in this role I’ve answered scores of parent questions and presented on the topic many, many times.

What really cements my know-how, however, is the picky eating laboratory that I run right here in my home with my own 3 kids.

By most standards, my kids are good eaters, but they’re still normal kids. They prefer the same junky foods that other kids like. They turn up their noses at healthy foods all the time. They sometimes refuse to eat what I’ve served. They whine and fuss and push me to my limits around the table every day.

The irony of it all is sometimes laughable. For instance, last month Happy Family hosted a Twitter chat about picky eating, featuring yours truly as their expert. For 30 minutes I confidently doled out sage advice, answering moms’ questions and suggesting solutions for common concerns.

A few hours later I was standing in my kitchen, plating up the chicken gyros I’d made for dinner, listening to a very angry 4yo yelling from under the kitchen table that he would not, in fact, be eating chicken. Because he HATES chicken. Instead, he wailed over and over, I had to make him spaghetti and meatballs. He refused to give up. With my own picky eating advice still lingering in the air from that afternoon’s chat, it was like the universe was testing me: OK, expert… how do you handle this situation?

Usually, when faced with challenges like this one, I do what I know is best; but let’s be honest, sometimes I do not. I take the path of least resistance because I’m only human and these kids can break you down! I’m pleased to report that I did manage to get the situation under control that night by taking my own advice, which I share with you here:

1. I stayed calm. I did not raise my voice. I said I know how much he likes spaghetti and meatballs, but tonight’s dinner is chicken, and please come up and sit at the table. This of course made him even more angry and resolute. (Though at least I was setting a good example with my tone.) So, I moved on to #2…

2. I did not call attention to his negative behaviors. I ignored him a bit to see if he would fizzle out after he realized that he wasn’t getting the reaction from me that he wanted. I served the other two kids, made small talk. Eventually, after what seemed like an eternity, he did stop yelling.

3. I did not give in. He didn’t know it, but I have a stash of meatballs in the freezer and it would have been very easy for me to heat them up. But of course this is a short-term solution that does nothing for the long-term goal, which is to have a kid who is not so picky. Giving in to their demands by being a short-order cook just reinforces their love of their favorite foods and their unwillingness to try different things. It also tells them that you don’t actually expect them to eat like everyone else in the family. So although it was tempting after a long day, I did not make him meatballs.

4. I chose my battles. I don’t make separate meals for picky kids. He had to select from the options already before him on the table. I was not budging on that point. But sometimes you can only fight one battle at a time. So… I did not punish him for yelling at me even though I don’t find it acceptable. And I didn’t punish him for staying under the table after I had asked him to come out. And when he finally came out from under the table, seemingly willing to take a plate of the dinner I had made, and defiantly said to me “I’m NOT sitting at the table today. I’m sitting in my tent.” I let my we-eat-dinner-sitting-at-the-table standard go out the window just this once and said “you got it!”

The little guy sat in his play tent and ate a few bites of pita, a bunch of tomatoes and cucumbers, and eventually, when he was very calm I told him that his brother and sister really enjoyed the chicken and I would like him to try a bite. To my surprise, not only did he try a few bites, but he emerged from his tent a few minutes later and told me that it was the “yummiest chicken he ever saw.” 4 year olds have no shame.

The thing about dealing with picky eating is that it’s daunting and frustrating, but it’s rarely a lost cause. There are loads of strategies you can try and you can find the ones that work for your child and for your family dynamics. I’ve been testing many of these strategies here at Camp Sunnyside and over the years I’ve shared some tips on Happy Family’s website – you can find them here if you want to read more.

Stay strong, moms and dads. Don’t let those little mac-and-cheese lovers get you down.¬†ūüôā

Dear CrossFit Newbie,

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The other day at my gym, CrossFit Immortal, a woman was taking her first class. It was a grueling workout and I noticed her struggle to complete the exercises and to overcome her intimidation. Afterwards, a few of us told her that she’d done a great job, and we reassured her that it gets easier. But there was so much more I wanted to say, as someone who was in her shoes a little over a year ago:

Just keep coming back. You will be stronger, faster, and more flexible than you were before. I decided when I turned 40 that I needed to get in better shape. I had always been active, but never particularly strong or athletic. As a kid, I never earned that Presidential Fitness Award and rarely made it off the bench in sports. As an adult, I could run a few miles but I required the assistance of friendly strangers to lift my luggage into overhead bins. With CrossFit I’ve seen remarkable gains in strength and endurance. But it’s not just that I can squat more than 100 pounds now or that I’ve trimmed more than 30 seconds off my 2000 meter row. It’s that I have more stamina when I’m playing with my kids. I can carry heavier packages home from the store. I don’t need as much help moving furniture or shoveling snow. I don’t know what it is about CrossFit’s approach (e.g., high intensity intervals, heavy weightlifting, etc.) that works for me. I just know that I’m fitter today than I’ve ever been in my life.

Math may temporarily escape you, but this is actually good for your mind. For me, CrossFit has been kinda like yoga, but with no Sanskrit and lots of grunting. In the past, my attempts at meditation and other mindfulness exercises were never too effective at stopping my racing mind. But I find Zen at CrossFit. I discovered that if I don’t focus intently, I’m slow or ineffective or, worse, I could get hurt. So, during a workout my mind, body, and breathing are all tuned to the same channel and I am perfectly present. No other thoughts can enter my consciousness. I have joked that I feel dumber at the end of class – with every ounce of my mental energy devoted to the workout, I become a bit dazed, as occasionally evidenced by my inability to add up my reps without a calculator! But if you’re like me, your mind needs that break, and you will find that you leave the gym with a clearer head.

Warning: You will¬†feel like you can accomplish anything you put your mind to. CrossFit is for people at every level of fitness – nobody gets off easy and nobody has to sit out. Even you, newbie, can do the workout. Just scale it down – go slow, put less weight on the bar, step onto the box instead of jumping. The most important factor driving your success will not be your physical ability. It will be your mental fortitude – your focus and your willingness to stay positive in the face of daunting challenges. I read a blog post¬†the other day that put it well: “CrossFit is not life or death, but it can be about staring into the face of something you fear and making a decision about how you are going to handle it.” When you practice this day after day – putting aside fears and self-doubt and choosing to press on – you make progress and, in turn, you learn how capable you really are. It’s empowering. And, the magical thing is that this can-do attitude overflows into your life outside of the gym. (Why else would I have accepted the invitation to sing with my friend’s band in February?! I never would have had the nerve to do that before.) So just be warned, you may start to feel like a girl-power anthem…and who knows what you’ll agree to next?

You’ll become attached (but not in some weird cult-y way). Haters say CrossFit is a cult. Harvard Divinity School once compared it to religion. I don’t think you’ll find it to be either of those things, but I do think that the community that forms in a CrossFit gym is something special. People here are competitive, but it’s not about being better than someone else. It’s about being better than you were yesterday. So, there’s a friendly and supportive vibe. The person getting the loudest cheers is usually the person coming in last place. What you experienced as a newcomer that day – welcoming outstretched hands and kind greetings from everyone in the room – is standard practice. At CrossFit Immortal we’re stay-at-home moms, lawyers, teachers, students, corporate professionals, small business owners, doctors, nurses, retirees, cops, craftsmen… We’re aged 16 to 60-something. In some ways, we don’t have much in common, but it doesn’t matter. We are connected by our love of Nike MetCons and CrossFit t-shirts. Just kidding. We’re connected by virtue of the fact that we show up and work hard, and as we laugh and struggle and persevere together we develop a special bond. You’re going to love these crazy people.

I’d tell the new girl to come back again the next day. And the next. Not because it’s the only way to get in shape, or because running fast and lifting heavy things is so important. But because I know from experience that she will grow. She will face fears, overcome challenges and show herself what she’s capable of. (And, she may even pick up some cool new workout tees along the way.)

Win some, lose some

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Last week, I declared my intention to clean up the kids’ diets. Well, I’ve been working on it and it’s going okay. With a few principles in mind (e.g., less sugar, fewer processed foods, better-for-you snacks) I plucked some recipes off of Pinterest, and I’ve been trying to be more mindful about what I’m putting on the table. Here’s a report:

Win: Breaking the Dessert Habit. A few weeks ago we started cutting back on after-dinner treats. It was interesting how many people commented after my last post that they’ve never even considered giving their kids dessert every night. Well, good for you guys, because I was apparently out to lunch on this one! But anyway, I’m pleased to report that it’s not even a big deal. There’s no fussing on the no-sweets nights. They have found other evening snacks (like fruit, yogurt, trail mix, popcorn) to enjoy if needed. With this change alone¬†their sugar consumption has dropped considerably.

Win: Better-for-You Banana Bread. Trying to provide some better options for breakfast, my 10yo N and I baked 100% whole wheat low-in-sugar banana bread from the wonderful 100 Days of Real Food¬†(recipe below). With only 1/4 cup honey it was noticeably less sweet than a typical banana bread (which can have up to a cup of sugar), but still very tasty. 4yo JB and 8yo A gobbled it up. N, who was aware that it was a lower sugar recipe, remarked after his first bite that it wasn’t sweet enough, but then he “got used to it” and in the end he said he enjoyed it. I’ll definitely make it again.

Lose: Deceptive Pizza Bites. For snacks and lunches I found a recipe for protein-rich pizza bites made with a quinoa-based crust on the Super Healthy Kids website, where I’ve found many good ideas and recipes in the past. I am a sucker for mini-foods and these pepperoni-sized morsels came out of the oven looking¬†quite appealing. ¬†N eagerly took a bite of one…and promptly threw the remainder in the garbage. After witnessing that decisive action it was surprising that A and JB even wanted to try, but I’m telling you these things were adorable. So A took a bite, made a face like she was going to vomit and very politely placed it back on her plate. When JB declared them to be “yummy” I was excited. Then I noticed that he had only eaten the cheese and sauce off the top. I encouraged another bite. “EWWWW. It’s QUINOA!” he moaned. Mind blown: I had no idea he even knew what quinoa tasted like. But truth be told, it did have a very quinoa-y flavor. I *may* have skipped the very important step of thoroughly rinsing the grain before cooking it. It tasted rather bitter. Oops. I won’t be making these again.

Lose: I got distracted by wheat.¬†Last week,¬†I decided to find some¬†non-wheat alternatives for my carb-loading kids. But I have to admit that in my eagerness to make changes, I led myself astray. It hit me the other night as I was piling pasta made of rice and quinoa onto their plates while a snack bar made with a gluten-free flour mix baked in the oven. It doesn’t make any sense to just switch from one form of processed carbs to another! ¬†Wheat and gluten are not the enemy, over-processing is the enemy! I don’t know what made me even buy those things. They don’t need non-wheat pastas and gluten free granola bars. Maybe just some non-pasta dinners and non-bar snacks. I got carried away but I’m back on track now.

Win: I think maybe they’re paying attention. As a dietitian I’m hyper-focused on food, but I never want my kids to obsess about this stuff so I try not to talk about it too much. It’s better to lead by example and hope they are picking up good habits and healthy preferences through their experiences in our home. But, 10yo N has been interested in talking about nutrition, so I’ve shared a few thoughts with him, about how I’d like all of us to be mindful about what we put in our mouths, and about striving to eat more whole foods. A few days ago he¬†told me about an over-the-top smorgasbord of sweets that was offered to the kids at a party in his classroom. There was jello, candy, cookies, AND cupcakes, among other snacks. He says,”I mean, of course I liked eating it, but Mom it was kinda bad. Nobody needs all that stuff!” So he enjoyed the sweets (because he’s a human child) but he recognized that they were superfluous to the point of being unhealthy… Well, it’s not a quinoa pizza bite, but I’ll take it.


Whole Wheat Banana Bread from 100 Days of Real Food

This recipe can be made as a loaf or as muffins. (I made a loaf Рif you make muffins adjust the baking time accordingly.) I used my favorite whole wheat flour, Bob’s Red Mill ivory wheat flour, and coconut oil.

INGREDIENTS

2 ¬ľ cup whole-wheat flour
¬ĺ teaspoon baking soda
¬ľ teaspoon salt
3 ripe bananas, mashed
¬ľ cup plain yogurt
¬ľ cup honey
2 eggs
‚Öď cup oil
1 teaspoon vanilla

INSTRUCTIONS

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F and grease pan.
  2. Combine flour, baking soda, and salt.
  3. In a separate bowl mix mashed bananas with yogurt, honey, eggs, oil, and vanilla.
  4. Fold the banana mixture into the flour mixture until blended. Do not overmix.
  5. Pour batter into prepared pan.
  6. Bake large loaf for 40 ‚Äď 50 minutes or until it comes clean with a toothpick.

 

All aboard!

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Lately, I’ve been maintaining a glaring double standard: JR and I have been eating clean and feeling great; the kids have not. During our recent 30-day nutrition challenge we planned meals and snacks around whole foods, eliminated added sugar, and ate a ton of vegetables. Sometimes, we served the same meals to the whole family, like this great chicken and rice bake and this yummy shrimp dish. But other times, while we were eating quinoa and buckwheat, they were eating heaping servings of pasta or freezer French fries. While we were snacking on nuts or plain yogurt or roasted parsnips, they were eating Goldfish or ice cream.

In the weeks since the challenge ended, I’ve continued to follow most of the rules because, well, I like to feel great. I’ve yet to eat a piece of bread or a bowl of pasta. I have a¬†little dark chocolate as a treat but I’m still eating unsweetened oatmeal and choosing protein foods as snacks. I’m trying to find a new “normal” that I can maintain for a good long while. A balanced approach. And as I’m sorting this out, I’m resolving to bring the kids deeper into the fold. I think we need two big changes:

#1 – Cut the sugar.
Eschewing sugar for a month (and being kind of obsessed about it) really brought my kids’ eating habits into stark relief. Almost every night they had something sweet as “dessert”. It was not always junky – things like homemade goodies sweetened with maple syrup, dark chocolate-covered bananas, and 100% fruit ice pops were in the mix. But as I considered their overall diets, I noticed how much it adds up: sweetened breakfast cereals, granola bars, juice boxes, cookies, ice cream treats, lollypops…and that’s just at home! I’ll say nothing (ok, I’ll say a little) of the crap that other people feed my kids on a day-to-day basis at school, at sports (why does my kid need a donut after a 45 minute practice?!), at afterschool activities. I wouldn’t call them addicted to sugar, but their palates certainly have a strong preference for it, and they are definitely in the habit of having more sweets than I believe is healthy.

So, a few weeks ago we limited sweet treats¬†to every other night, trying to wean them off slowly. At the same time, I’m trying to make and buy breakfast foods, after-school snacks, and desserts¬†that contain less sugar. And, though I don’t believe that honey and maple syrup are so much better¬†than cane sugar (your body has an insulin reaction whatever the form) I do think there are benefits to cutting out¬†products that contain¬†refined sugar, so that’s what I plan to do (except for special occasions and Halloween and whatnot… I¬†haven’t completely lost my mind).

#2 – Carb control.
My kids are carbohydrate fiends. Pasta, cereal, crackers, pretzels, snack bars. I believe they need the energy provided by starchy carbohydrates – they are active and they are growing. But I also believe that more of their starches should be vegetables and whole grains. And, I’m thinking we could cut back on wheat products. It’s not that I necessarily believe that gluten is bad for us¬†(though I will say, again, that I have felt GREAT without it) but I do wonder if the abundance of wheat in their diets is a good thing. When facing long-term unknowns I always like to hedge – split the risks by having a bit of this and a bit of that, not over-relying on any one kind of food. So, I’ll try to swap out some¬†gluten-containing foods for gluten-free options. Try to help them learn to accept and enjoy a better variety of whole grains. Have fewer carb-y snacks available. Try to offer more balance.

Seems easy enough. Heh heh.

Will report back.

Challenging Ourselves

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For the last 30 days, I’ve been on a rather strict diet. Well, not on a diet so much as doing a nutrition challenge. Coach Tommy, the owner of my gym (Crossfit Immortal,¬†woop woop!) organized it. I’m not usually one for “diets”, but since I have consumed the proverbial Crossfit kool-aid, I’m apparently down for anything now!

The challenge was a points-based contest based on the nutrition rules of the Whole Life Challenge, which you can read about here. But, Tommy decided to make it more strict. Because it’s only 30 days. And because he’s mean, he’s just mean. (j/k TC.)

So for 30 days JR and I have been off gluten (all forms of wheat, barley, and rye), dairy (except plain yogurt), corn, soy, white potatoes, white rice, processed oils (canola, soybean, etc.), added sugar (including all-natural sweeteners like agave, maple syrup, and honey), and alcohol. Participants lost points for cheating and earned bonus points for working out at the gym.

And it was a challenge indeed, even for a health-conscious eater like me. First off, it was time-consuming. I scoured the web for ideas and new recipes. I spent more time than usual meticulously planning our meals and with almost no packaged foods allowed on our menu, I spent many hours prepping food. I struggled (and cheated) when I baked chocolate cookies and birthday cupcakes for the kids. There were times, for instance after doing 60 snatches and a boatload of slam balls, when I felt like I would lose my mind if I didn’t have a big bowl of pasta. (I didn’t.) And one time I was rude to a bartender when he told me that they had no hot tea. Yes, I *may* have been a hangry b**ch from time to time. But, on the flip side, I also felt full of energy, my workouts seemed super-charged, my sometimes-plagued digestive tract was happy, and my body fat is now 2.5% lower! Not too shabby!

The final contest results are not in yet – weight and body fat will be compared to pre-challenge measurements and these changes will be factored in with the points to determine the grand prize winner. I know from the online tracking sheet that though I had a strong finish, I did not score the most points, so I don’t have much of a chance of winning.

Cash prize or not, I’m glad I did it, because as I ease back into “normal” life I’m taking a few improved habits with me as a result of some key realizations:

  • I can live without cheese and bourbon, but I don’t want to. It’s empowering to know that I can control my cravings¬†in order to reach a goal. I have been proud of the mental toughness displayed by myself, JR, and our friends. That said, an entire life without Parmesan is too bleak for me, and so I will again eat cheese. But, I probably ate too much before, so I do intend to scale back. And as for the bourbon, I was floored by how difficult it was to give up alcohol. I don’t even drink very much socially! But, what I am is a mother’s-little-helper drinker: when dinner/bath/bedtime is particularly soul-sucking a drink helps me recover. It was remarkably hard to go without. I did it, though! And I didn’t beat my children. And I only lashed out at JR once or twice. And I now recognize that I can handle these tensions on my own, without muting them with alcohol. Ah, self-awareness. Now pour¬†me a scotch.
  • Not only can I live without sugar, I thrive without it. Although I was a healthy eater before, I was probably eating too much sugar. I’m now a proponent of a cold-turkey break for sugar addiction. For me “I’ll just eat less” never worked. In the end, I found it was surprisingly easy to give it up altogether. I will still enjoy an occasional piece of dark chocolate or a good lemon bar¬†but I no longer crave it. This, to me, has been the best outcome of this whole thing.
  • I needed more protein. I workout hard. I lift heavy(ish) weights. I need protein! For 30 days I was forced to find good sources of protein to eat with every meal and with snacks – otherwise I would be starving. (And maybe that’s where the pound of lean body mass that I’ve gained came from!) It’s a habit I plan to continue.
  • I pick at my kids’ food. A lot. Why do I do that?! From the first day of this challenge I became much more mindful about what I put in my mouth because even a small taste of a prohibited food would cost me a point. Thirty¬†days later, I think I’ve truly kicked this habit. You can’t tempt me, pot of hot mac-and-cheese!
  • Clean¬†eating is all well and good, but there is NO reason to suffer unsweetened granola or black coffee. During this challenge I often ate to live, consuming foods just to fuel myself and get by. Once or twice, I ate a meatball for “dessert”. I need something crunchy and carbohydrate-y in my yogurt so I made unsweetened granola (a.k.a. cardboard with nuts). I need caffeine in the morning so black coffee (ew) it was. But that’s not how I want to live. I like getting pleasure from good food, and I can get it from healthy, whole, clean foods. But, life is too short to eat something that tastes bad. You can quote me on that.

I was grateful to have my partner-in-eating JR doing this too. For him, the biggest challenge was switching from our typical starches like pasta, potatoes, and tortillas to a more limited list of options like quinoa, oats and buckwheat. It wasn’t easy, but it has forced both of us to change the proportions of our meals and snacks – more veggies and protein, with more moderate amounts of starch – which is probably better for us in the long-run.

Check out my Pinterest board for some of the new recipes we tried during this month. Many of these will remain in regular rotation here at Camp Sunnyside and I encourage you to incorporate them¬†into your family’s menu. But not the unsweetened granola. Nobody should have to eat that $hit.

-A.

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